Controlling the Relationship

In response to my sweetheart's post about controlling the Relationship I have a comment:

When you are in the "co-dependent" relationship mode you are actually putting the other person in charge of your feelings. You are giving them power over you. If you say "I need you to do X so I can have Y," then you are loosing part of yourself to the relationship. When you move to the co-creation level of your relationship then you are responsible for your own feelings. You are not loosing part of yourself to the relationship anymore. It is all about a win-win relationship. Moving to the level where everyone is responsible for their own feelings is a big step. The tape we were listing to was a presentation by Paul and Layne Cutright. This was my first exposure to them, but I have had them recommended to me before.